Trevor’s Story
As a man, I've often found myself struggling to integrate three core aspects of my being: spirituality, sexuality, and intimacy. This journey has been anything but straightforward, marked by moments of confusion, self-doubt, and profound revelation.
Early life
From a young age, I was taught that spirituality and sexuality were two separate realms. Growing up in a conservative environment, spirituality was framed as a sacred, pure pursuit, while sexuality was often shrouded in shame and secrecy. The messages were clear: spiritual growth was to be pursued with fervor, while sexual desires were to be controlled, if not outright suppressed. Intimacy, on the other hand, seemed like an elusive concept—something I was supposed to desire and excel at, yet was never clearly explained or demonstrated in a healthy way.
In my thirties, I began to question these dichotomies. The more I delved into my spiritual practices, the more I felt an internal dissonance. My spiritual practice felt incomplete and disconnected from my physical and emotional experiences. My relationships, too, suffered from this fragmentation. I longed for a deeper connection but was unsure how to bridge these parts of myself.
Eureka moment
A turning point came when I started exploring mindfulness and spirituality. These practices taught me to be present with my thoughts and feelings without judgment. Through mindfulness, I began to understand that my sexuality was not something to be hidden or ashamed of, but a natural and beautiful part of my humanity. This realization was both liberating and terrifying, as it meant challenging deeply ingrained beliefs and societal norms that I had internalized.
Integrating intimacy into this mix was equally challenging. Intimacy requires vulnerability—a willingness to be seen and accepted as we are, flaws and all. For me, this meant opening up about my struggles, fears, and desires. It wasn't easy; the fear of rejection and judgment loomed large. But as I took small steps toward vulnerability, I discovered that true intimacy could not exist without authenticity. The more honest I became about my needs and insecurities, the more profound and genuine my connections became.
Life is messy
One of the most profound lessons I've learned is that integrating spirituality, sexuality, and intimacy is not about achieving perfection. It's about embracing the messiness of being human and allowing these aspects of ourselves to coexist harmoniously. This integration has deepened my relationships, both with others and with myself, fostering a sense of wholeness and peace. I began to see that my spirituality could be enhanced by acknowledging my sexual self and that true intimacy required a blend of both spiritual and physical presence.
Why I created this retreat
This retreat, "Totally You: Integrating Spirituality, Sexuality and Intimacy," was born from a deep desire to ignite a revolution. I envision a world where men can embrace the totality of their being, where these fundamental aspects intertwine to create a life of vibrant authenticity. Here, in the cradle of Costa Rica's wild beauty, we'll weave a tapestry of self-discovery, shattering limitations and empowering you to live as your most whole and magnificent self. Here, under the canopy of the rainforest, I invite you to break free from societal constraints and embrace the symphony of your authentic self. Let's create a brotherhood built on open conversations, where vulnerability isn't a weakness but the bridge to connection and purpose.
Visit Trevor’s website: TrevorJamesLA.com
Kevin Martin
Kevin Martin is a passionate mental wellness coach dedicated to supporting spiritual gay men through sexual and relational empowerment. Growing up on a family farm in Pemberville, Ohio, Kevin was inspired by his grandfather and found joy in activities like riding roller coasters at Cedar Point. Raised in a conservative Lutheran church, Kevin faced challenges in accepting his sexuality, which fueled his journey towards self-love.
Now - and for the past ten years - he offers individual coaching and courses such as "Celebrating Sexuality," aiming to help others release sexual and relational anxiety and embrace their true selves. He also created "The Backroom," an adults-only coaching space for gay men where he provides video resources pertaining to body image, self-acceptance, releasing shame, mindful masturbation, and guided meditation for sexual self-confidence.
For more information, visit Kevin's website: coasterlover94.com.